Five Things considers things–including questions–in groups of five. And Five Things performers think on their feet. Here the two come together in *Take5* a quippy Q&A featuring former Five Things performers:
1. What is the story of your name?
Diane Fleming: I was born Diane Skwish. Then I became Diane Lovelett through a misguided decision to marry a guy named Bob. || Post-divorce, during a brief, empowered, feminist moment, I legally changed my name to my maternal grandmother’s last name, Fleming. I also added her first name, Ruth, as my middle name. My mother didn’t give most of the Skwish children middle names, fearing that the burden of the Skwish name was enough. (Now I wish I’d gone back to Skwish.)
David Jewell: My middle name, Prescott, comes from Col. William Prescott who said,
“Don’t fire until you see the whites of their eyes. At the Battle of Bunker Hill. || So, I am a son of the American Revolution.
Jack Kaulfus: Kaulfus means “club foot.” It’s Prussian. Our ancestors were royal guards; they were probably not very fast.
Rudy Ramirez: The name is derived from the Germanic Hrodwulf and means “Famewolf.” Which may have been the teutonic equivalent of “Famewhore” and would thus have been apt. But really, the story of my name is that it makes Christmastime suck ass when you’re a kid
Michael Whalen: Michael is my father’s middle name. Whalen is my father’s last night.
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2. Sum up your Five Things Experience in five words.
Diane Fleming: Testoserone-trashing tales entertain all.
David Jewell: Totally amazing fun wild event.
Jack Kaulfus: I needed a cigarette after (it was so lovely).
Matthew Stuart: “The Egerton’s baby is CUTE.” (or) “FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN.”
Michael Whalen: new|loud|different|awaited|dudes
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3. Finish this sentence: What I amazed myself by and/or am still considering changing about my most recent creative piece [insert title] is…
Diane Fleming: What I am still considering changing about my most recent creative piece Cialis is adding some Viva Viagra! to it.
David Jewell: Hmmmm….could you run the tape? Gotta see the replay.
Jack Kaulfus: I am amazed that I am still working on the same novel I’ve been trying to write since 1996. Eventually, it will be a great “process” story, but right now, it’s still about four folders full of crap.
Rudy Ramirez: What I amazed myself by with my most recent creative piece–part 1 of Promised Land, my first ever one man show–is that people who had been to the place I was describing said they saw it in a whole new way.
Matthew Stuart: I’m considering the following: Writing: I wonder if a tractor tire hung from a tree with chain is a reasonable method for teaching one to absorb counter punches in “Handsome Vlad” (Tire’s swung, Vlad jabs the hole, gets floored by tire. A drill repeated again and again.) Painting: I wonder if Sterling the horse should have been wearing tortoise-shell Ray Bans instead of black.
Michael Whalen: What I am still considering changing about my most recent creative piece “Zombies” is whether the romance is a good idea and if I can balance the perspective by having two women speak elsewhere that doesn’t involve men or romance.
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4. The funniest/weirdest thing to happen in your vicinity in recent memory is what?
Diane Fleming: Receiving a large number of Dr. Desmond Fleming‘s emails by mistake, including prayer circle requests, requests for recommendation letters for medical school, and a recent note about one of his friends being in brain tumor surgery.
David Jewell: It was cold enough to wear a jacket with the sun out. So weird. Quite delightful.
Jack Kaulfus: Bianca just climbed halfway into the drier because it felt so good.
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5. What horrible thing makes you laugh?
Diane Fleming: When I first heard the recent story of the woman-mauled-by-monkey, I laughed. I don’t know why.
David Jewell: Politically incorrect names for bands. Too horrible to even mention.
Jack Kaulfus: “I Can’t Decide” by The Scissor Sisters.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ahem.

